Disallusionment and a Kick in the pants...

I was defeated - I was convinced my back was going to keep me from being a runner - I could taste the Doritos and beer, and had already settled into my sweatpants.

But, luckily I have a fantastic brother and sister-in-law who refused to let me quit. I guess they needed proof that my back really hurt, because they got me out on the track again yesterday.

We walk/jogged 2.25 miles (there you go Jill). Although I think there was more walking than jogging -- Jill did a great job of coercing me to believe it was still an accomplishment. And she also finagled (a nicer word for LIED) me into believing I was doing less than I actually was.

Conclusions:
1) I got out there and exercised yesterday, and didn't really break a sweat. I was having a lot more trouble breathing than Jill, and I really wasn't doing much. But it just proves I wasn't really working hard as I could. There were days I came home and couldn't get out a sentance, red in the face and sweating like a hog (lovely).

2) My back hurt minimally, which convinced me that the surface I run on does make a difference.

3) It very well may be the hard work that I'm afraid of. I think I feel very much like Erich did when he found out there was no Santa Claus. To him it was heartbreaking and haunts him to this day. (I didn't really care as long as the presents kept comin', if ya' know what I mean). :o) But since I know NOTHING about running or exercising I was under the impression that once I could run 20 minutes, I could run 20 minutes any day, and it wouldn't hurt a bit. I feel like it's Christmas morning and instead of Santa gifts, I'm getting a lump of coal. Really?! You mean it's going to hurt EVERY TIME? Poor Jill did her best to answer my cries of distress (answering the same question asked a different way 10 different times). And yet, I still walked away with a feeling of loss, but yet a feeling of knowledge. Now that I KNOW it's going to suck -- maybe I can move forward without feeling like a failure.

and finally

4) Even if I don't run 3 miles a day 3 days a week -- If I get out there 3 days a week and do what I can -- it will still be better than plopping my butt down for McDonalds and Monster Quest. Last summer Donald would come home and find us sitting inside on a beautiful day because I was too lazy to get the girls up and outside to play. This year, on every chance we get we're outside playing and gardening. And he knows 3 days a week I'm going to be out the door when he walks in for me to get some exercise. Even if it's just walking, I'm doing something positive for myself and my girls.

THANK YOU ERICH AND JILL!!!!!

(And thank you to Samantha for the support, and to Donald who's promised to not let me quit either)